31/05/2008 is where it all started..=)
I'm sorry love...
i guess..
i should have appreciated you more..
i miss you.
but...
dunno why this feeling always arrive..
this bugging feeling..
i hate it..
i wish it never exist..
why does my heart always have to played my feelings..
it always cheats on me..
it always gave me fake feelings..
yes..its only within me & myself..
i've played up my own heart..
i cheated on my own feeling...
i love to create fake feelings...
I'm not a good girl...neither was i a bad girl..
i dun wish to break other heart,but i also dont wish to break mine..
but how?
When i see how much a girl love a guy..
i envy her..
i just dunno why..
i know hubby love me so much..
i do love him too..
sometimes its a little too overload till i myself am shocked
but sometimes...
it just feel so....Neutral?
I love to see pictures of other couples..
seein how sweet they are together..
sometimes i see myself in them...but sometimes i just have to envy them..
*so if you happen to see me viewing ur facebook or friendster or blog,dont mind me..i'm just visualising myself*
cos they seems perfect together..like their love are balance..
but mine?
its like a boat..
rocking up & down..
like a roller coaster..
sometimes a little too much till i cant breathe..
but sometimes...
its just..........going down.too fast.
I know its not normal..
I do feel guilty sometimes.
Sometimes i really hate him...
but at the same time...
i really dun want to lose him..
haish...why am i always having weird feelings in me??
cant someone just give me a normal feeling like what other couples are feeling??
hubby..i love you..but at the same time..i hate you for not being able to be by my side most of the time because you have Ns.
haish..


Love,kiki anela beaudelaire